Telltale Signs of a Douchebag

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[After four years of writing in our undies, we've accumulated a lot of great content on Loveawake dating site. I realized this when I was reading the site the other night....also in my undies. So many awesome posts get forgotten, so we decided it was time to bring 'em back. Every Friday we'll be posting some old faves - posts that have made us think, posts that have made us aware and posts that have made us LOL/ROTFL/snort. So kick off your pants, kick up your feet and enjoy.]

Despite what She’s All That claimed during our formative middle-school years, no amount of makeup-free-artistic lonely girl can transform a douchebag into a gentleman. However we all like to believe that we are Belle and if we just love them enough (and listen to the talking cupboard) we can turn every beast into a prince. But at the end of the night (week, month, serious relationship) we’re still left with the same douchebag.

So, in order to stop just one girl from going home with that guy, I’ve compiled a list of three telltale signs that he should be avoided.

1. Blazer and a t-shirt

I have yet to figure out why guys think this outfit is anywhere near attractive. While I guess there is some advantage of knowing that they can go straight to the gym and/or a job interview with just a quick change, there’s something unsettling about the two looks meshing. If they can’t be bothered to decide between the business-casual look and the casual-casual look, chances are they won’t be bothered with remembering your name and number post hook-up. So unless you find yourself wearing a dress and sneakers out to the bars, I would recommend steering clear of this.

2. Cheek Kiss

When I first started receiving the cheek kiss at college I marveled at the adultness of it all. It was up there on my maturity scale with dinner parties and lipstick. However I soon learned that the boys who lean in to give the obligatory cheek kiss are the same boys who will elbow you in the stomach to get to the bar. They’re already climbing the social ladder and each time I put out my cheek to receive the kiss, they’re already eyeing the next girl behind me. As they say, nighttime cheek kiss, morning time big diss. (OK, no one has ever actually said that.)

3. Backwards Hat

Nothing says ‘I’m very mistaken about how cool I think I am’ than a backwards hat in any kind of social setting. It constantly amazes me how many people still find it socially acceptable to not only put on a hat to go out, but to put it on backwards. If backwards hats were “in” during the ’90s, then it’s still going to be another ten years before it’s ironic to wear it like that again. Any guy that finds it trendy/funny to wear their hat backwards will also think its trendy/funny to do something wacky, like hitting on one girl all night and then going home with her friend. Their brains work differently.

There are obviously many more signs of a douchebag, but these are the three that came to me after spending 30 seconds of first-hand research in a bar. And while I can list signs all day, it would start to get a little too personal to my friends when they start noticing their own one-night-stands and exes listed.

You got any tips for avoiding the d-bags? List ‘em below. We ladies gotta help eachother out!